


Second Chances

by SunDaeDreamz



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Daesung is a literal angel, M/M, Mild Trigger warning, only the first chapter though...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-10-11 12:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10465023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunDaeDreamz/pseuds/SunDaeDreamz
Summary: Youngbae is beyond distraught when his Daesung dies.  He is not handling it well.  Visions of his love plague him, everywhere. How will he handle it when he finds out the truth, they weren't visions.cross-post on affThere may be smut in the future, IDK... these will be very short drabble length chapters.  Possible switching viewpoints.  Just an idea that came to me when I should have been writing the second chapter of my SunDae bondage smut.  Trigger warning for the first chapter. It's not that bad really.  But Idon't want to mark the whole story for just a few sentences.  Message me if you are concerned before reading.





	1. Visions

             It’s been four months since Daesung’s funeral. Four months since I lost him. Four months since my world changed forever. It’s been hard, lonely even. Sure I have my other friends. Jiyong especially tries his best and he will always be my best friend. But I still feel like life is going by in a haze. Then I saw him.

                The first time was after two weeks. I caught a brief glimpse at the crowded bus stop. He was on the other side of the street. When the crowd cleared he was gone. I dismissed it then, and the many times after, as my mind playing tricks on me because I missed him so much. It actually hurt to keep seeing him even as much as it felt comforting to see him as well.

                The comfort didn’t outweigh the hurt enough though.  It still doesn’t.  I’m not in a good place.  My heart is crushed and I am still struggling to move on.  Seeing him everywhere, almost like he was watching me tore my soul to pieces as it touched my heart.   It feels like a cruel joke many days.  I can’t do it anymore.  The last couple weeks I’ve been seeing him right outside my apartment.  The comfort of my visions of him is wavering.  It’s starting to hurt, more than it feels good.   

                I crushed the pills into a fruit sweetened smoothie, to cover the bitter taste.  At least this way I can see him for real, be with _him_ instead of these haunting visions.  I stared at the cup in my hand for what feels like hours, but it’s still frozen so it wasn’t actually as long as it seemed. I hoped it wouldn’t be painful and long.  Instead I hoped I would just fall asleep before it happened.   Finally I gathered the willpower to lift the straw to my lips. 

                “STOP!!!”

                 I almost dropped the cup. That voice, how could it be? Startled, I quickly turned around. Blinking rapidly I tried to take in what I was seeing when he spoke again.

                  “Please Jagiya, don’t, not this way, please.”

                   My eyes must be playing tricks, my vision was blurring and darkening around the edges as my knees suddenly gave way. The floor rapidly coming up to meet me.


	2. Comfort

                 There was a hand stroking my hair from my eye, it felt so familiar.  I laid there struggling to place it, waiting for the fog in my brain to clear.  Then it hit me, WINGS!  My baby has wings?  I jolted up, eyes popping open. I don’t remember lying on the couch, why am I here?  I turned to face the person whose lap my head had previously been occupying.

                There was mostly concern etched on his features.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  How could this be? Reaching a hand out, I poked his cheek to test if he was actually there.  My eyes couldn’t help but travel down to the new appendages that I was not used to associating with him.  Yup, they were wings, white and slightly iridescent.  They were folded partly behind him.  I reached out to touch, but then stopped myself.  Looking back up to his face words finally came to me.  “Daesung-ah, why are...  no.... how are you here?  I don’t understand.”

                I found myself suddenly enveloped in his arms, wings wrapped around us as well.  I felt a kiss placed on the side of my head before he finally spoke.

                “If I had let you succeed, if you had killed yourself, I wouldn’t be able to stand it.  I would become a sad protagonist in this world and I would hurt in place of you.  I’ll become your wings, I believe in you, please believe in me, because everything will pass.”

                I allowed myself to be comforted by his words.  Even if this was just some crazy dream, I was here, in my love’s arms again.  I allowed myself to feel just one more bit of happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, if you made it past the first chapter, well then good. I am glad. Yes I briefly allowed for Daesung to be gone, but he had to be. That will be explained later. I think... I'm not 100% sure where this story is going. 
> 
> the wings lyrics were used on purpose to pacify a friend upset that Daesung died again... though I insist that he was already dead and is now reborn


	3. Love is the reason

                I knew there would be repercussions later, for fully showing myself to Youngbae.  That didn’t stop me though.  I couldn’t allow him to end his life.  I just couldn’t.  I wouldn’t have been able to stand it if I had.  The angel assigned to him hadn’t succeeded, I had to do something, consequences be damned. 

                Now he is in my arms once again, and I don’t want to let go.  Not ever.  But I must.  I’ve done enough.  They told me he needs to move on, and that I wasn’t allowed to participate in his healing, I was too close.  His current guardian was not doing her job well from what I’ve seen.   My anger at her and the rest of them for allowing him to get this bad boiled under my skin, making my feathers ruffle in fury as I hugged my love.

                “Sungie-yah, air! You are squeezing to tight.”

                “Oh, I’m sorry Jagiya,” I replied as I loosened my hold, but not fully letting go.  I wasn’t ready for that yet.  “I’ve just missed you so much.  I’ve watched you from afar, but I couldn’t do more than that, I’m so sorry for causing you this pain.”  I practically purred as he laid his head on my chest.  I missed that feeling so much.

                I could tell when he finally processed my words.  His head lifted so he could look me in the eyes.  I fell more in love with him every time I looked into his adoring cocoa eyes.  “I wasn’t seeing things then?  That really was you?  I thought I was losing my mind.”

                “You weren’t seeing things.  In a way we were torturing each other, because of our love.  I didn’t know it worked that way until recently.  I didn’t know you could see me.”


	4. Rules?

          “Love is what triggers a guardian to be able to show themselves to their charge.  I didn’t realize that it worked even if the person is not a charge.  That’s why we are not supposed to watch our family, but I just found that out yesterday.”  I held him close to me as I explained more, I didn’t want to let go.  “I wasn’t told why I couldn’t see you.  Just that it wasn’t good for you.  I couldn’t just do nothing while you got worse though, so here I am breaking all the rules.”

          I pondered that as we held each other.  I wasn’t allowed to be here, yet saving Youngbae had gained me my wings.  They sprouted from my back when I stopped him from drinking that darned drink he made.  Just thinking of it caused my new wings to rustle and quiver.  I got up and poured the melted concoction down the drain as my Jagiya watched.

          “Saving you earned me my wings, rules or not, I’m not leaving you again.  It hurts us both to be away from each other.”  I hugged Youngbae tightly again, it felt so good to have him in my arms.  I’m not sure what will happen now, but I won’t allow them to separate us again.  Death did it once.  That was enough.  I felt his arms wrapped around me still as I pulled back from our embrace to look down into his eyes.

          "I want to kiss you, Jagi,” Bae murmured as he looked back up at me.  “Please, it’s been months, even if it’s just once.  Will you let me?”

          How could I deny his request, when I wanted the same?  I smiled as I leaned down and pressed our lips together. Consequences be damned, I was already breaking the rules anyway.


	5. Right now

                One kiss led to a second and then a third. Hands searched tentatively as fingers worked their way over rapidly heating bodies.  Breaths entwined as hearts pounded, aching to be nearer to each other.  I woke up later naked and wrapped in my baby’s arms with a wing draped over me, tickling the back of my thigh as it rustled.

                I couldn’t help but smile as I watched him slowly waken from sleep.  I’d dreamt of this moment, wished for it to happen just one more time.  I’d never thought there would be wings.  This was something new to wrap my head around, but right now I was more worried about him leaving again.  Daesung is an angel, literally.  I know he can’t stay here with me, that he has a job he should be doing.  For now though I am selfish.  I think I’ve earned it, just this once.

                 His smile is one of my favorite sights and right now it is directed at me.  Right now I don’t want to think about what will happen later.  Right now I just want to be here, with MY angel.  Right now I just want to be in his arms again for as long as I can.  His wings are so soft, like down and satin and water, It’s really indescribable the multitude of sensations that touching them brings.  I can’t help but run my fingers over and through them.  The purring sound emanating from my baby’s chest tells me that he is enjoying the feeling just as much as I am, probably more if his other reaction is anything to go by.

                I know that I have healing to do.  That my head still isn’t in a good place.  I am fully aware that just because Daesung came back to me doesn’t mean that I don’t need help.  But for now, for today, I will let his body heal me. Tomorrow is another day.


End file.
